"Pencil" joke

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil?
Did you ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who?
Nevermind, it's pointless.

It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war games.
A private came charging into his Lieutenant's office and said " Lieutenant, I lost my rifle. What am I going to use for the war games?"
"I don't have time to more...

When is a pencil not a pencil? When it's on a Pentagon shopping list - then it's a "portable hand-held communications inscriber", says a Republican senator.

Little Johnny and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Little Johnny sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!! " more...

A man and a woman are in a lamaze class, and the woman is 7 months pregnant. In this class, the lamaze instructor is trying to get the husbands to understand what their wives are going through. All the men put on fake bellies, and the lamaze instructor walks up to the first man more...