"Poetry Contest Finals" joke
The National Poetry Contest was down to two finalists, a Harvard graduate and a redneck.
The contest rules allowed each of them a maximum of two minutes to compose a four line poem containing the word Timbuktu.
The Harvard graduate was the first to recite his:
"Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu."
The crowd went wild. It didn't seem possible that the redneck would be able to top that. Finally, with a few seconds left, the redneck jumped up and was ready to recite his poem:
"Me and Tim a huntin' went,
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three and we was two,
I bucked one and Timbuktu."
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another more...
A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If more...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The more...
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders,
using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:
"Red... cherry,"
"Yellow... lemon,"
"Green... lime,"
"Orange... orange,"
Finally the more...
there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...