"Proof of stupidity" joke

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside".
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how... ?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box) "Do not turn upside down".
(Oops, too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(As night follows the day...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(One would hope)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
(I gotta admit, I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
(NEWS FLASH, Hello!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one)
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?)