"Real signs" joke

A large department store here had a sign in its jewellery section:
"EARS PIERCED: - WHILE YOU WAIT"
Like, what's the alternative? Leave your ears and collect them next Thursday?
There is a nice pair of signs in Crown St, Sydney (look for them if you come for the 2000 Olympics), which are two awning type signs which hang out over the footpath.
One is for a funeral parlour, the other is for a chicken processing factory next door.
If you walk up Crown Street, from a distance you can see the funeral parlour sign and below it the bottom of the chicken factory sign.
From that point, they appear to be one sign which reads
VALUE FUNERALS
Freshly killed daily on our premises

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