"Red Neck's Guide to Computer Lingo" joke

Log On:
Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off:
Don't add no wood.
Monitor:
Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download:
Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz:
When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk:
Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram:
The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive:
Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt:
What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows:
What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen:
What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte:
That's what the flies do.
Chip:
What to munch on.
Micro Chip:
What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared:
Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem:
What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix:
Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top:
Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard:
Where ya hang your keys.
Software:
Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse:
Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame:
Hold up the barn roof.
Port:
Fancy wine.
Enter:
C'mon in.
Random Access Mem:
You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.