"Rude, Crude, and Lewd!" joke
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your Mom.
Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's rest room?
A: Say, "Nice dick."
Q: What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?
A: An itchy, twitchy twat.
Q: Are birth control pills deductible?
A: Only if they don't work.
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts!
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!