"Rules For Stray Cats" joke

1. Stray cats will not be fed.
2. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
3. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little
milk.
4. Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm
milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled
unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely
not be given a name.
8. Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any
time.
9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in
"y."
11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their
claws on the furniture.
12. Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the
really good furniture.
13. Stray cats may be permitted on furniture but must sharpen claws on new