"SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY" joke

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY or DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS
FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW
ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous
versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management doesn't understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.
NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous
version.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string
budget.
EXCLUSIVE -- We're the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC -- It only runs on the next-generation
supercomputer.
HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.
IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We've released a 26-week project in 48
weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE -- It's impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta test.
REVOLUTIONARY -- The disk drives go round and round.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -- We'll send you another copy if it
fails.
STOCK ITEM -- We shipped it once before, and we can do it
again, probably.
UNMATCHED -- It's almost as good as the competition.
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -- Nothing ever ran this slow
before.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- We finally got one to work.