Glossary Jokes

Software Engineering Glossary of Product Terminology:
NEW: Different colors from previous version.
ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version.
UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.
ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it.
NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix.
BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget.
UPGRADED: Did not work the first time.
UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time.

Glossary Terms-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Software Engineering Glossary of Product TerminologyNEW: Different colors from previous version.ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version.UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it.NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix.BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try.DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget.UPGRADED: Did not work the first time.UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time.The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2.0

SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY or DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS
FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW
ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous
versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management doesn't understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.
NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous
version.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string
budget.
EXCLUSIVE -- We're the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC -- It only runs on the next-generation
supercomputer.
HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.
IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We've released a 26-week project in 48
weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE -- It's impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta more...

Glossary Terms-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Software Engineering Glossary of Product TerminologyNEW: Different colors from previous version. ALL NEW: Software is not compatible with previous version. UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition. ADVANCED DESIGN: Upper management doesn't understand it. NO MAINTENANCE: Impossible to fix. BREAKTHROUGH: It finally booted on the first try. DESIGN SIMPLICITY: Developed on a shoe-string budget. UPGRADED: Did not work the first time. UPGRADED AND IMPROVED: Did not work the second time. The Dumpty Dictionary, Version 2. 0