"Sayings to Wear on Buttons" joke

RELATIONSHIP BUTTONS

1. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

2. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

3. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

4. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

GENERAL LIFE

5. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

6. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

7. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

8. Do I look like a freakin' people person?

9. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

OFFICE BUTTONS

10. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

11. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

13. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

GREAT INSULT BUTTONS

14. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

15. You! Off my planet!