"School Collection 13" joke

Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?
Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can’t see!

A history joke
Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich?
Because the poor didn’t have anything worth stealing!

Teacher: You’re new here aren’t you, what’s your name?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith

A history joke
Why did Eve want to move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!

Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!