"Screw you" joke

Ma and Pa are sitting on the front porch swing, rocking. Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' A minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' Again, a minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' Another minute goes by, and Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' Yet another minute goes by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'Screw you Ma.'' A minute later, Ma says to Pa,' 'Screw you Pa.'' A couple of minutes go by, and Pa says to Ma,' 'I don't know about you Ma, but I just don't get too much out of this oral sex stuff!''

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn’t Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus’ birthday.

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"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

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Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

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