"Seminars for Females/Males" joke

Seminars for Females (Prepared and presented by Males)1. Elementary map reading2. Crying and law enforcement3. Advanced math seminar: Programming your VCR4. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours5. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: A study in contrast. 6. PMS: It's your problem, not mine ("It's happened monthly since puberty-deal with it." )7. Driving I. Getting past automatic transmissions8. Driving II. The meaning of blinking orange lights9. Driving III. Approximating a constant speed10. Driving IV. Makeup and Driving; it's as simple as oil and water11. Football: Not a game; a sacrament12. Telephone Translations (Formerly titled, "Me too" equals "I love you")13. How to earn your own money14. Gift giving fundamentals (Formerly titled, "Fabric bad, electronics good")15. Putting the seat down by yourself: Potential energy is on your side16. Beyond "Clean and Dirty" - The nuances of wearable laundry17. Yes, you can fill up at a self service station18. Joys of the remote control; Reaping the benefits of 50 channels19. What comes around, goes around: Why his credit card is not a toy20. His best friend can be yours too21. His poker games: Deal yourself out22. Commitment Schmittment (Formerly titled, "Wedlock Schmedlock")23. To honor and obey: Remembering the small print above "I do"24. Why your mother is unwelcome in the house25. Your mate: selfish bastard, or victimized sensitive man? Seminars For Males (Prepared and Presented by Females)1. Combatting stupidity2. You too can do housework3. PMS: Learn when to keep your mouth shut4. How to fill an ice tray5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas: give us money6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4am7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled, "Don't wash my silks")8. Parenting: It doesn't end with conception9. Get a life; learn to cook10. How not to act like a jackass when you're obviously wrong11. Spelling: Even you can get it right12. Understanding your financial incompetence13. You: The weaker sex14. Reasons to give flowers15. How to stay awake in public16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom17. Garbage: Getting it to the curb18. You can fall asleep without it if you really try19. The morning dilemma if IT is awake: Take a shower20. I'll wear it if I damn well please21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly titled "No, it's not a bidet")22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms23. Give me a break: Why we know your excuses are bull24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost25. The remote control: Overcoming your dependency26. Romanticism: Ideas other than sex27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes28. Mothers-in-law: They are people too29. Male bonding: Leaving your friends at home30. You too can be a designated driver31. Seeing the true you (formerly titled, "You don't look like Mel Gibson when naked")32. Changing your underwear: It really works33. The attainable goal: removing "tits" from your vocabulary34. Fluffing the blankets after flatulating is not necessary35. Techniques for calling home before you leave work

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