"So Drunk He Can't Walk" joke

A drunk is out drinking and he gets really wasted. He looks at the time and it's 3 a.m. He screams and heads home before his wife screams at him. He tries to walk but he can't. His legs won't work. Figuring he's too drunk to walk home he crawls. It was long and hard but he makes it home in a half hour. He silently crawls into bed and his wife is still sound asleep. He relaxes and lays back.
Then his wife whispers, "I know you've been out drinking and right now your wasted."
The man whispers, "No I haven't, and no I'm not."
The woman replies, "Then where's your wheelchair?"

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