Wasted Jokes

A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend.

Once A Brahmin Hired A Boatman For Crossing Ganga River. On The Way He Asked The Boatman That Have You Read Ramayan.
The Boatman Says "No". He Says Then 25% Of Your Life Has Been Wasted.
In The Same Way He Asked The Boatman That Have U Read Mahabharta.
He Again Says "No". The Brahmin Once Again Says That Ur 50% Of Your Life Has Been Wasted.
He Again Shows A Book & Asks Have U Read This One. He Again Replies "No".
The Brahmin Says Your 75% Of Life Has Been Wasted.
Then The Boat Man Asks The Brahmin Do U Know Swimming? The Brahmin Says "No".
The Boatman Says Ur Whole Life Has Been Wasted As A Hole Has Been Found In The Boat.

Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time.

Nothing is more wasted than a smile on the face of a Playboy centerfold.

A drunk is out drinking and he gets really wasted. He looks at the time and it's 3 a.m. He screams and heads home before his wife screams at him. He tries to walk but he can't. His legs won't work. Figuring he's too drunk to walk home he crawls. It was long and hard but he makes it home in a half hour. He silently crawls into bed and his wife is still sound asleep. He relaxes and lays back.
Then his wife whispers, "I know you've been out drinking and right now your wasted."
The man whispers, "No I haven't, and no I'm not."
The woman replies, "Then where's your wheelchair?"