"Song Title" joke

A great pianist was driving down a road when he saw a bar with a sign saying "MUSICIAN WANTED". Being the hotshot he was, he walked in and offered to fill the void. So, the bartender told him to give a demo. So, the pianist went over to the piano and began to play.
The song was phenomenal, and the bartender was very impressed. The bartender promptly asked, "What was the name of that song?" The pianist smiled and said "What the hell is that on my dick?" The bartender was taken aback but told the pianist to play another song. This song was even better than the last, and the bartender was Very impressed.
Slightly reluctant he asked, "Was that song's name?" The pianist said, "Them Tits is Fucking Huge!" The bartender was perplexed, but sighed and said, " You can play at my bar but you can't announce the name of your songs." One night the pianist is playing at a bar and he decides to spice it up a bit with performances during the songs. He's doing flips, cartwheels, and such, but in the middle of one song he does the splits and rips his pants from the upper crotch to the lower ass, and like all good musicians, he wasn't wearing underwear.
Strangely, he keeps playing as if nothing happened. A bit later a woman stands up and shouts " Don't ya know yer balls is hangin' out?" The pianist whips around and says, "Not only don't I know it, I wrote it!" Rude
Russian professor and his flea experiment "A great Russian scientist Ivan Ivanowich Ivanow made experiments with a flea.
He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 40 centimetres high.
So he took a pencil (a big Russian invention) and put the following record in the experimental log: "I said: 'Jump, flea!' and it jumped 40 cm."
Then he tore off one of the flea's legs. He said: "Jump, flea!" and it jumped 30 centimetres high. He recorded: "When I tore off one leg, the flea jumped 30 cm."
Then he continued tearing off other legs and the flea jumped 20, 10, and 2 centimeters high, respectively. Everything was recorded in the log book.
When only 1 leg remained, the poor flea jumped only 1 millimeter and a half high. Again, it was recorded.
Finally he tore off the last leg. He said: "Jump, flea!". No response.
He said again (in a high voice): "Jump, flea!". Nothing.
He shouted: "Jump, flea!!!". The flea did not move.
So Ivan Ivanowich Ivanow took a pencil for the last time and wrote: "I tore off all flea's legs and it cannot hear."