"Supporting Windows" joke

Windows Problem
I'm wondering if anybody can help me with a problem I'm having on my
computer at work. I recently upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 3.1416,
and I've noticed that when I running WordWanker Version 2.0.9.4 (which I
upgraded from 1.8.4.7) in conjunction with FaxBuddy! Version
4.2.4.3.7857, everything works fine for about the first 25 minutes, but
then if I try to type a subordinating conjunction followed by any form of
the verb foment, the keyboard locks up permanently and the hard drive
makes a whimpering sound and all current data is erased, including data
in computers several cubicles away. I have tried everything, including
reformatting my hard drive and exorcism. Please help!
Reply To: Windows Problem
I had exactly the same problem, and after a lot of trial and error I
found out that if you click on the Windows Control Panel, then on Command
Center, then on Reset Variables, then on Establish New Parameters, then
on Define Standards, then on Modify Criteria, then on Effectuate
Paradigms, then on the little icon that says Do Not Ever Click On This
Little Icon, then go down to the box that says Enter New Value, and type
in 2038, you will still have the same problem. This is why I started
using heroin.