"The Best Of Everything" joke
A Newfie goes to Toronto to seek his fortune, and after a couple of years is doing very well for himself. His brother calls from Newfoundland to tell him their father is very ill and probably won't survive.
"Well, if he dies I'll pay for the funeral; the best of everything, spare no expense, just send me the bill," says the Toronto Newfie.
Two weeks later he gets a bill in the mail for $7500.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets a bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets another bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets yet another bill for $75.00
He sends the cheque off to his brother.
The following week he gets a bill for $75.00
He calls his brother and says, "What the hell is going on; why do keep get a bill for $75.00 every week?"
His brother tells him, "Well, you said spare no expense, so we rented Dad a tux."
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Once A Boy Got Admission In An English Medium School. He Couldn't Talk In English. On His First Day They Were Going On A
Picnic. He Got Up Late So He Got Ready Quickly And Went For School. He Took A Shortcut And The Shortcut Was A Lake. There Was A
Man With A Boat. He more...
Worse was the alleged rapist who stood before the judge and pleaded innocence by reason of insanity.
"Insanity?" coughed the judge. "Young man, you seem perfectly normal to me."
"Oh, I am," he admitted, "it's sex I'm crazy about."