"The Heretic" joke
Walking across a bridge one day, one man saw another man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So the first man ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" the second man said. The first man said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" the suicidal man said said. "Well, are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist!" "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" The first man said "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...