"The Heretic" joke
Walking across a bridge one day, one man saw another man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So the first man ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" the second man said. The first man said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" the suicidal man said said. "Well, are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are your Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist!" "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" The first man said "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...