"The Queen and Lady Di in Better Days [Rated PG-13]" joke

Once upon a time, a few years before all those nasty divorces, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of England and Lady Di were out for a drive in one of the Queen's Range Rovers. Suddenly some armed robbers leaped out of the bushes and stopped the car.

'Give us the money' they shouted at the Queen.

'But I'm the Queen of England, I have no need for money, thus I never carry any.'

'Oh, blimey', said the leader of the armed band, and turned to Lady Di.

'Give us yer jewels.'

'But I don't wear my jewels all the time, only on state occasions.'

The armed robbers looked fed up when suddenly they heard the sound of wailing sirens approaching.' Quick, out of the car. We'll have the Range Rover at least', and with that the robbers drove off.

As the Queen and Di are waiting for the police to get there, Di turns to the Queen, and asks:' So, what did you do to all the cash you had? You're always loaded.'

'Ah,' said the Queen,' I saw the robbers and in the few seconds before they got to the car I rolled up my notes and tucked them into that little place that women have. Reaching under her skirt, she produced several thousand pounds in notes.

'And what did you do with your jewels? You always wear lots of jewelery, my dear' the Queen says to Di.

'Well, like you, in those few seconds before the robbers got to the car, I slipped off my rings, necklaces and tiara, and like you, slipped them into that little place that only women have.' Reaching down, she plucks out her jewelery.

They both smile, knowingly at each other.

After sitting quietly for a few moments, the Queen turned to Di, and with all the grace and dignity one should expect of the Queen of the British Empire, said: says' You know, if Fergie had been with us, we would still have that Range Rover.'