"The Suicidal Goat" joke
A guy who was tired with life in the big city decided to take a vacation and go to the mountain, so he rented a chalet in the wilderness.
One day, as he was strolling, he got to the edge of a precipice. He carefully looked down and backed quickly, amazed: "gee, is this deep!". He took a pebble and threw it in, to see how long it takes until it gets down. It took a while, so he thought "that's really deep"; then he found a big stone and tossed it, and when it hit the ground with an almost inaudible sound he reckoned "this is what I call deep". Having nothing else to do, he started to look around a found a large piece of rail. He strained a while, as it was pretty heavy, rusted and muddy, but he managed to push it over the cliff, and after some time, when he heard it hitting the ground with abig blast, he reasoned: "now that's something!".
He had just seated himself to rest and start meditating at the abyssal dimensions, when he saw a goat, bulging-eyed, heading at maximum speed directly to the bottomless pit. There was nothing he could do, in no time the goat got on the edge and jumped.
The man was dazzled, "suicidal goat, who would have thought of that"; he was still under the strong impression of the goat's act, when a shepherd came by.
"Howdy there, did you happen to see a goat?", the shepherd asked. "Don't ask me" excitedly answered the man, "you've never seen anything like that in you life: a goat just came in galloping and jumped over the cliff with no hesitation".
The shepherd couldn't believe his ears; even more stunned than the man, all he could say was "How was this possible, I'm asking you, how in the world was this possible, I had tethered it to a large piece of rail!"
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
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Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
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