"The Twelve Days Of Christmas.... Santa Cruz Style..." joke

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous
relationship gave to me

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual
drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called
for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to
play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal
products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,

(NOTE after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens
and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To
avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift
package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
carcasses and...

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa Oh, heck! Happy
Holiday!!!!

*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected
Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this
gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that your have
a thoroughly adequate day.