"The bachelor's diet" joke

Bachelor's Diet

MONDAY:

BREAKFAST - Who can eat breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth

LUNCH - Send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.

AFTERNOON SNACK - Drink the maalox

DINNER - Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.

TUESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eat the coleslaw

LUNCH - Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.

DINNER - Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho's.

WEDNESDAY:

BREAKFAST - Jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at El Flasho's

LUNCH - Rolaids and a coke

DINNER - Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps

THURSDAY:

BREAKFAST - Order out for pizza

LUNCH - Your secretary is out sick, check Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.

DINNER - Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.

FRIDAY:

BREAKFAST - Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it's better for you.

LUNCH - Skip lunch, Fridays are murder

DINNER - Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.

SATURDAY:

BREAKFAST - Sleep through it.

LUNCH - Ditto

DINNER - Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.

SUNDAY:

BREAKFAST - Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.

LUNCH - Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Dont eat Lunch.

DINNER - Chicken noodle soup - Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.