"The smartest guy in the world" joke
A Pope, a boy scout, and the smartest guy in the world are on an airplane that is going down (because the pilot had a heart attack).
The boy scout says, "Well, there are only two parachutes aboard. Who is going to use them?""Since I am the smartest guy in the world I feel I need to use a parachute." So, he grabs a bag and jumps out."Looks like there is only one left, and since I have lived a full life you can use the other parachute." said the Pope."No. We can both live!" says the boy scout."How?" asked the Pope."The smartest guy in the world grabbed my backpack, not the parachute!"
A physician visited a California mental institution and asked a patient "How did you get here? What is the nature of your illness?"
He got this reply.
"It started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a more...
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After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
"But-where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him.
"Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a more...
A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
"That fellow from close by will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the mares. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to more...