"They Be Pretty Smart Down South..." joke

The average suth'ner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit.

The average suth'ner knows pretty much how many fish make up a mess.

The average suth'ner knows what general direction "cattywumpus" is.

The average suth'ner knows that "gimme sugar"don't mean pass the sugar.

The average suth'ner knows when somebody's "fixin" to do something, it won't be long.

The average suth'ner knows how good a cold grape Nehi and cheese crackers are at a country store.

The average suth'ner knows what, "Well, I Suwannee!" means.

The average suth'ner knows ain't nobody's biscuits like Grandma's biscuits!

The average suth'ner knows a good dog is worth its weight in gold.

The average suth'ner knows real gravy don't come from a store.

The average suth'ner knows when "by and by" is.

The average suth'ner knows how to handle their "pot licker".

The average suth'ner knows the difference between "pert' near" and "a right far piece".

The average suth'ner knows the differences between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash.

The average suth'ner knows never to go snipe hunting twice.

The average suth'ner at one point learned what happens when you swallow tobacco juice.

The average suth'ner knows never to assume that the other car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

The average suth'ner knows you may wear long sleeves, but you should always roll' em up past the elbows.

The average suth'ner knows you should never loan your tools, pick-up, or gun to nobody.

The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings are guaranteed stress relievers.

The average suth'ner knows rocking chairs and swings with an old person in them are history lessons.

The average suth'ner knows how much a sh**pot full is?

The average suth'ner knows you have to keep all valuables locked up and guard the watermelon patch for the same reasons.