"Thin Foods" joke
Ralph, feeling very ill, goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to
the hospital to undergo tests.
After the lengthy exam, he wakes up hungry and quite groggy. Ralph looks about,
noticing that he is now in a private room at the hospital. Just then the phone
by his bed rings...
"This is your doctor," said the serious voice. "We just got the results back
from your battery of tests. Obviously, you have lead a very promiscuous life."
Ralph smiled: "And I've enjoyed every minute!"
The doctor's voice became even more serious: "Well you're not going to enjoy
this; We've found you have an extremely nasty disease called G.A.S.H. It's a
combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes!"
"My gosh, doctor!" said Ralph, now quite worried. "What are you going to do?"
The doctor explained: "The first thing we're going to do is put you on a strict
diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread."
"How long will I have to be on that diet?"
"For the rest of your life."
"Will that cure me?" asked Ralph.
"Well no," said the doctor, "but, it's the only food we can get under the door."
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.
ur momma so fat that whenever she went to get her blood drawn the results came back gravy.
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number
Henry is at his bowling banquet and keeps complaining that his dentures are hurting him. The fellow sitting next to him reaches in his pocket and pulls out a set. Handing them to Henry, he says, "Here, give these a try."
"Thank you, but they're a bit more...