"Told in the USSR" joke
It seems that once upon a time Stalin, Khrushchev and Brezhnev were all
traveling together on this train from Moscow to Vladivostok when,
at one point, the engines stuttered and the train came grinding to a halt.
Two hours later, nothing more had happened; the train was still stopped.
Stalin got up. "I'll take care of this."
He went out and had all of the engineers and train-workers shot.
He came back into the compartment and sat back down.
"That should take care of it."
Two more hours passed; the train has not moved.
Khrushchev got up. "I'll take care of this."
He went out, found a few engineers hiding in the rear of the train,
and, after a while, managed to persuade them to start working on the
train again. He came back into the compartment and sat down.
"That should take care of it."
Ten minutes later there was this loud groaning noise from the engines;
the train lurched forward and then came to a halt a few moments later.
Nothing more happened for about an hour.
Then Brezhnev got up, drew the blinds, and sat down.
"Now. Train is moving."
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