"Try Landing This! (off. to blondes)" joke
Two blonde guys were sitting around talking. After a while, the first blonde looks at the second blonde and says, "Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?"
The second guy says, "Wow, you have an airplane? Let's go!"
So they go for a tour around the city in the plane. Eventually they run low on fuel and need to land. The blonde pilot starts circling around looking for a place to land. He sees an airstrip close by. He says his to his new buddy along for the ride, "Let's land here. It looks like it's as good a place as any."
So he circles around and goes in for a landing, but at the last minute he swerves and pulls back up.
"Damn!" he says, "That is the SHORTEST runway I have ever seen! How is anyone supposed to land on it?"
Since it's the only runway nearby, he decides to try again, with the same result. Getting pretty irritated, the pilot says to his friend, "All right, I'm going to try ONE more time, and if I can't land it we're just going to crash and hope we don't die."
So they end up crashing, and miraculously neither is hurt. When they crawl out of the wreckage, the first guy is swearing and gesticulates wildly at the runway.
"I'm gonna find whoever designed this crazy runway and wring his neck! He must be total moron! No one could land on anything that short!"
The second guy looks around and says "Yeah, but look how wide it is!"
One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" they turned around and went home.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: more...
Philippe, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Philippe and says,' Philippe, kiss me!'
Philippe grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on more...
A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror. If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. more...
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The more...