"Weight Loss Program" joke

Hot 4 years agoby Tats

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck..

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kg as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/10kg program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10kg as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/25kg program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine."

He lost 33 kilos that week.

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

399
116

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

227
100

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

153
29

- ridin' solo, I'm ridin' solo
- Nan please, we're at granddad's funeral

54
34

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

7
1
Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
Kenneth Rojas:Someone's going to get a spanking and it might be you.
1
0
(0)
Joe:Wow, everything is on line..Heard this joke 40yrs ago, never thought I’d ever find it . I love it, I’m Italian...
1
0
(0)
Sir Builds Alot:Ouch!! Good one ;D
0
0
(0)
fred: that joke is old agnes brown show in ireland does that joke
0
0
(0)
Robert:Good hip replcement for a 56 year old male
0
0
(0)
young boy:yo mama so fat her picture fell of the wall while being held up by sixteen nails.
0
0
(0)
young boy:yo hair line be like help me please he wont cut me.
0
0
(0)
Nate:I'm sorry.
1
0
`1`
coco:33+10+5=48, what was his status kg b4 d program?
0
0
(0)
Anonym:or he could have stayed on the 5 k program until he caught her.
Show More Comments
Funny Joke? 245 vote(s). 79% are positive. 21 comment(s).