"Weird Package Instructions" joke

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:
ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;
- Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,
- Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER:
- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: - Fits one head.
ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT
- Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
- Product will be hot after heating
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
- Do not drive car or operate machinery
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
- Warning: may cause drowsiness
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
- Warning keep out of children
ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
- For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
- Not to be used for the other use
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
- Warning: contains nuts
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
- Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS
- Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?