"What a Difference 30 Years Makes!" joke

1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund1970: KEG
2000: EKG1970: Acid Rock
2000: Acid Reflux1970: Moving to California because it's cool
2000: Moving to California because it's warm1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity1970: Paar
2000: AARP1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint
2000: Getting a new hip joint1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office1970: Peace sign
2000: Mercedes logo1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved1970: Take acid
2000: Take antacid1970: Passing the driver's test
2000: Passing the vision test1970: "Whatever"
2000: "Depends"