"What's for Dinner?" joke
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.
The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,
"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."
The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.
The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal.
He asks, "My God almighty, what are you doing?"
And the New Yorker replies, "So much for your canoe!"
A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
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After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
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A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, more...
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a more...
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a more...