"You Might be an Engineer ..." joke

You Might be an Engineer. ..
If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home. wife"
If your spouse sends e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
When your line to a prospective date is "Hi, what's your URL"
If you use a spreadsheet to divide the bill at a restuarant...
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas...
If Dilbert is your hero...
If, you are the only person you know who's VCR clock does not flash
00. 00. 00...
If, you first teach your kid to count in binary...
If, instead of buying your kid a dog, you build him one...
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says
CONCENTRATE
If you wear black socks with white tennis shoes...
I you've played Dungeons and Dragons...
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes...
If you saw the latest Star Trek movie the day that it opened...
If your wrist watch has more computing power that a 486DX-50...
If your idea of a "good read" is the Edmund Scientific Catalog...
If your favorite actor is R2-D2...
If you have incorporated chips or disk platters into your office decor...
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string...
If you window shop at Radio Shack...
If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
high-tech movie looking for technical inaccuracies...
If you drive a Gremlin with a "Beam Me Up Scotty" bumper sticker...
If you have different pocket protectors for the days of the week...
If you have white tape or a paper clip holding your glasses together...
If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area...
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that
actually takes five minutes to run...
If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment...
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie...
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is...
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven...
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush...
If, last Christmas, you got RAM in your stocking...
If you own "Official Star Trek" ANYTHING...
If you cried during the last episode of The Next Generation...
If you are secretly designing your own Holodeck...
If you have ever debated who was a better Captain, Kirk or Picard...
If your pulse quickened the first time you saw a Pentium Pro processor in
person...
If you are playing an on-going interactive game over the Internet with
someone in Guam...
If your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The Professor"...
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside...
If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception...
If you ever spent your milk money on a diode...
If you ever burnt-down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project...
If you just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics
kit you got for your ninth birthday...
If you have ever tuned in your neighbor's cordless phone on your
scanner...
If you think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children...
If your excuse for not wearing a tie is that it will limit critical blood flow
to your brain...
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts...
If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games,
but are afraid to say it aloud...