"You Saved Who?" joke
In Virginia a helicopter was cruising fast at tree top level when the engine quit, too low to auto-rotate, the helicopter plunged into a small lake where three boys happened to be fishing.
The boys who were at the lake saw the whole thing happen. They swam to the site of the crash, looked in the wreckage and saw that the pilot and copilot were both dead. The lone passenger was unconscious and barely alive. They pulled him out, took him to shore, and gave him artificial
respiration - saving his life.
Within a few minutes there were several helicopters circling the area and one of them landed. A guy got out who seemed to be in charge and came up to the boys, he congratulated them for saving President Clinton!
"Boys," said the man, " you just saved the leader of our country! You each deserve a reward. You name it, and I'll give it to you."
The first boy said, "I really want a pair of Nike Air Jordan's."
The man replied, "Michael Jordan is a close personal friend of mine. I'll get everyone in your family 10 pairs of Nike's each.
The second boy said, "I'd like to go to Disneyland."
The man said, "I know Michael Eisner very well. I'll see that your entire family has an all expense paid trip to Disneyland.
The man turns to the third boy and asked what he would like.
The boy answered saying, "I'd like a mahogany wood coffin, bagpipe music and a fly over by the Thunderbirds at my funeral service."
"Funeral service?" asked the puzzled man. "What in the world are you talking about?"
The kid replied "When my father finds out who I saved he's going to kill me!"
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.