"You know you're Middle Aged if..." joke

Youve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your carin the ten items or less lane.

Youve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

Youve found yourself discussing rain gutters.

You remember your kids names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy age-defying makeup and antiwrinkle creams and believe they work.

Youve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.

Youve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classicfor the last time in a generation

Youd pay good money to be strip-searched.

Wal-Mart and target seem to share your fashion sense.

The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.

You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bagin less than five minutes.

You know what Earth Shoes are.

You think if you hear Stairway to Heaven one more time your head will explode.

Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

On Saturday night, when your wife mentions hot oil, a little friction, and squealing, you tell her youll have the car looked at first thing Monday morning.