Pairs Jokes

Youve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your carin the ten items or less lane.

Youve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

Youve found yourself discussing rain gutters.

You remember your kids names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy age-defying makeup and antiwrinkle creams and believe they work.

Youve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo more...

You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything. The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the “ten items or less” lane. You’ve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents. You’ve found yourself discussing rain gutters. You remember your kid’s names, just not always the right one. You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector. Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold. You buy “age-defying” makeup and “antiwrinkle” creams and believe they work. You’ve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you. You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak. As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again. You’ve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-“for more...

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the more...

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
monster trucks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough more...

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone."He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."