Supporting Jokes

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.
The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car—in the "ten items or less" lane.
You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.
You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.
You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.
You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.
Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.
You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.
You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.
You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.
As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.
You've had three opportunities more...

You’ve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything. The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the “ten items or less” lane. You’ve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents. You’ve found yourself discussing rain gutters. You remember your kid’s names, just not always the right one. You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector. Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold. You buy “age-defying” makeup and “antiwrinkle” creams and believe they work. You’ve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you. You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak. As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again. You’ve had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-“for more...

You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the more...

The Oscars are here! The Oscars are here!

The single greatest night of year is coming, and that means it's time for me to tell you who will win! I'm good, you know it. Last year, I told you James Coburn would win, and you all laughed, and he won. WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME?

Many of you cling to the belief that the Oscar goes to the most deserving nominee. Get over yourself. Oscars have nothing to do with talent and everything to do with marketing. With that in mind, here is the list of who will win.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR OK, everyone loved the little kid in Sixth Sense. But the last time the Academy gave an award to a damn kid (Anna Paquin from The Piano) she vanished off the face of the Earth to concentrate on a spelling bee. Face it, they ain't gonna give an award to anyone who still worships the Power Rangers. How about Michael Clarke Duncan from The Green Mile? Too tall. Jude Law? Forget it, his name's Jude.

There are really only two possible more...

Oprah Winfrey has been dubbed a “traitor” by some of her female fans for supporting Barack Obama instead of Hillary Clinton.
...
In the original post, a reader called austaz68 said..."For the first time in history we actually have a shot at putting a woman in the White House and Oprah backs the black MAN. She’s choosing her race over her gender.”


White women thought Oprah was their "sister", but they found out she's a "sistah" first.

Oprah recently attended a celebrity-studded Obama rally that included pop music legend Stevie Wonder.

OK--why is even Stevie Wonder supporting Obama? I mean, if anyone should be color blind, it's Stevie Wonder.