"Chuck Norris and his twin" joke

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade