wow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three old men were sitting on a bench in Florida when a reporter approached them.' I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell us your secret to long life,' the reported asked. The three old men agreed.

The first old man was asked his secret to his long life.' I never drank alcohol, I never smoked tobacco and I have been married to the same woman for fifty years.'' Wow, thats really remarkable!' said the reporter.' And how old are you?' he asked the second man.' I'm 93,' said the man.

The second man was asked the same question on his secret to long life.' I drank on occasion, I smoked, but not often and I dated some.'' And how old are you?' asked the reporter.' I'm 91,' said the old man.

Finally, the reporter approached the third old man and asked his secret to a long life.' I dated every woman that would go out with me, I drank until I passed out and I smoked three packs of cigarettes a day.'' Wow!' said the reporter.' And how more...

One day, Heaven suddenly became extremely full, and something had to be done. So The Lord decided to have St. Peter wait at the gate and ask everyone how they died. If it was a grisly story they told, they could go ahead into Heaven. But if not, they had to go to Hell.
The first man walks up and St. Peter tells him what's happening. "You see, Heaven is quite full today, and we have to ask everyone
how they died. If it sounds good, you can go ahead. But if not, you go to Hell."
"Ok," the man says. "Well, for a while I've been suspecting my wife of cheating on me. So today I thought I'd leave work early and catch her. Sure enough, I got to my apartment building and she was lying naked on the bed. I ran all over the apartment searching for the man but couldn't find him. Then I remembered that we live on the 25th floor of an apartment building, and we have a balcony. And there was the man, hanging off my balcony. I beat at his hands and he just more...

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's more...

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: Why so glum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!

Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great!

Satan: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it!

Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs

out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?

Guy: Wow... that's awesome!

Satan: I bet more...

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

There was this Russian guy, this Spanish guy and this Korean guy all in the same ESL class. The teacher told them to make a sentence using the word' hostess' for homework. So the next day the Russian guy goes "Oh I have a good sentence. The hostess was very courteous." And the teacher said "Wow that was really good!" The Spanish guy goes, "Oh I have a better sentence. My mother is a good hostess when others come over." Then the teacher said, "Wow that was really good!" Finally the Korean guy goes, "I have the best sentence. When my mother answers the phone, she says hostess?"

Che Boram decides to take a trip to Texas to visit his favorite cousin one day. As he sits down in the plane, he says, "Wow, the seats are really big here." The person next to him turns to him and says, "In Texas, they say everything is big." When Boram finally arrives in Texas, he's a little tired, so he decides to go visit a bar to loosen up. It turns out that he went into a country club instead. He says, "Wow! The bars are very big here." Someone turns to him and says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big." He orders a shot of alcohol at the bar, and when the bartender hands it to him, he says, "Wow, the shotglass is really big!" A person next to him turns to him and says, "Yes; in Texas, everything is big." After drinking his alcohol and many more shots, Boram realizes that he has to relieve himself. So he turns to the bartender and asks him where the bathroom is. The bartender replies, "The second hallway, second more...