wow Jokes / Recent Jokes

In one of Oprah Winfrey's talk shows, a survey was conducted among her audience. Since the subject was about ghosts she started asking her audience these survey questions: Oprah: How many of you have seen a ghost? Please stand up! Amazingly, about 20 people stood up. Oprah: Wow, isn't that really phenomenal? And now for the next question- For you guys standing up - how many of you have actually spoke to a ghost? About five stayed standing up. Oprah: (At this point, really getting tremendously excited!) Wow, imagine that? These people actually spoke to a ghost. And now for the last question, how many of you five guys have actually made love to a ghost? Four guys sat down except one, at the last row of seats. The crowd exploded. Oprah: May we call the gentleman to come to the stage please! At this the cameras focused on an aging old man and guess what, a Filipino guy. Oprah: Wow, that was unbelievable: Sir may we know who you are? Top Gun: My name is Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun for short. more...

A farmer went to the market to buy some new animals. He looked all day but couldn't find anything he didn't already have. Finally at the end of the day he spied a Zebra. Wow, he thought I must have that animal on my farm so off he went home with it. The Zebra didn't really know what was expected of her at the farm and tried asking the other animals. First she saw a pig and went over to chat "hey piggy, what do you do here?" "Wellll" said the pig "I just kinda wait around and eat and roll in the mud". Hmmmm, thought the Zebra, that doesn't sound very exciting. Next she noticed a cow in the field. "what do you do here moo cow?" The cow looked the zebra up and down and said "I just eat grass and chew my cud and look at the sky all day". Hmmmmm, that doesn't sound like much fun either thought the Zebra. Suddenly, wow! The Zebra saw a beautiful stallion and raced over to speak to him. "Hiya horsey! What do you do here?" gasped the more...

(1) You are next. .
When I was younger I hated going to weddings.
It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,"You are next".
They stopped that shit after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. [:))]
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(2) Divorce Joke...
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully",
The divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week."
"That's very nice, your honour", the husband said.
"And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks, myself".
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(3) Tarzan & dead Cheetah
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow! New Underwear.
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(4) Women in Heven
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON more...

A sophisticated city lady and a country bumpkin both ended up in a conversation at the same social function. At one point the country woman asked, "Wow, what's that smell?" The city woman replied, "It's Evening in Paris... $189. 00 an ounce." A few moments later the city woman exclaimed, "Wow, what's that smell?" The country woman replied, "Lima beans... $1. 89 a can!"

On A Visit To Texas, A Blind Man Sitting On The Train From Airport."Wow," He Exclaims, "These Seats Are Big!" The Man Sitting
Next To Him Answers, "Everything Is Big In Texas." Arriving At His Hotel, The Blind Man Goes To The Bar And Orders A Beer.
Feeling The Huge Glass In His Hands, He Says, "Wow, These Drinks Are Big!" "Everything Is Big In Texas," Says The Barman. The
Blind Man Then Asks Where The Lavatory Is, But Takes A Wrong Turning, Trips Up And Falls Onto The Hotel Swimming Pool. Scared
To Death, He Shouts Outs, "Don't Flush! Don't Flush!

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed
between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The
bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting...
"Don't flush, don't flush!"

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,' Wow, these seats are big!'

The person next to him answered,' Everything is big in Texas.' When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed,' Wow these mugs are big!'

The bartender replied,' Everything is big in Texas.' After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,' Second door to the right.'

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,' Don't flush, don't flush!'