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There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.
The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.
The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.
So God made him a woman !!

There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted. The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter. The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter. The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter. So God made him a woman !!

A guy walks into a bar and sees another guy sitting with a ferret. The guy seems to be stroking it rather lovingly. The first guy asks him, “Why are you stroking that ferret?”

He replies, “Well my friend, the ferret gives the best head in the world.”

“Bullshit, there’s no way a ferret can do that.”

“Go try yourself.”

So the first guy takes the ferret and goes into the bathroom. A few minutes pass and suddenly there’s banging and moaning and screaming coming from the bathroom. The first guy comes out, stroking the ferret lovingly and looks at the second guy. “I will give you $500, no $1000, for this ferret.”

The second guy thinks about it for a little while and then nods. “Alright, a thousand dollars it is.”

The first guy pays the second guy and takes the ferret home. He places it on the table in front of his wife and tells her the story. She looks at him in amazement, “What am I supposed to more...

Ther was a blonde that was going for her helecopter licence so she went to the airport.
The manager said she had to wright a test and she passed it with flying colours.
The manager again said "now its time to fly".
Manager:I will radio you every 1000 ft. and tell you how your doing.
She gets up 1000 ft. Doing good.
Now it's 2000 ft. shes doing well.
But around 3000 ft. she spins to the ground out of control and crashes.
The manager rushes over and pulles her out of the wreck and asked her what went wrong.
The blonde said "Around 2500 ft. I started to get cold so I turned the fan off!!!

There was a father and son in China that were very close. They used to go everywhere together including looking for "chicken" (Chinese slang for prostitute).One day, the son decided to go oversea for study. The father was very
supportive, and before his son left, the father told him, "We cannot
look for chicken together for the next few years. However, if you need
to look for chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please
state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mother will not
suspect."So the son left, and after a month, the father received the bill from
the son (shooting bird - $1000).Subsequently, and for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is more than $1000. Well, the father could not tolerate this, so he wrote to his son. "Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one".A month later, the father received another bill from his son. On it he
had written:Shooting Bird - more...

There was a father who was very close to his son. They used to go everywhere together including calling "chicken". One day, the son decided to go overseas for study.
The father was very supportive. Before his son left, the father told the son, "We cannot call chicken" together for the next few years. However, if you need to call chicken, please go ahead and I will pay for it. But please state the expense as 'Shooting Bird' so that your mom will not suspect."
So the son left. For the first month, the father received the bill from the son (shooting bird - $1000). Subsequently for the next few months, the bill for shooting bird is above $1000. The father could not tolerate any more, so he wrote to his son.
"Son, you have been shooting too expensive bird, try some cheaper one"
A month later, the father received another bill from his son. It wrote:
"Shooting Bird - $50, Rifle Repair - $2,000"

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