Abbreviations Jokes

Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch).

These instructions are frequently abbreviated into total incomprehensibility. Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary. Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented set of instructions.

Frequently when an error is made writing a program in assembler a user can actually see the program executing the undocumented instructions. These instructions vary from machine from machine, but all computers have a certain set of them in common. As a service to humanity, I am here revealing these common instructions for the first time.


ARG: Agree to Run Garbage
BDM: Branch and Destroy Memory
CMN: Convert to Mayan Numerals
DDS: Damage Disk and Stop
EMR: Emit Microwave Radiation
ETO: Emulate more...

In this age of instant and near-instant communications, abbreviations have become commonplace, especially amongst the younger generations. For older internet users, here's a handy guide to translating:
AbbreviationPreviously long phrase
whrthfckuben?
"Goodness, it's been a long time since we've chatted, hasn't it?"
utypliksht
"Say, have you heard that there is a new Evelyn Wood's speed-typing course?"
ugoturhdupyrass?
"Are you sure about that?"
sowenugtoutofjail?
"So, what have you been up to lately, Bugs?"
tkurabbrevsandshuvem
"Wouldn't you rather just type the whole phrase out?"