Address Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear Son:
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when' you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most accidents happen within twenty mile of home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Kentuckian family that lived here took the number with them so the wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day 1 put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time. and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said It would be a little to heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons on, so we cut`em off and put`em in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandmas funeral bill, up she comes. Your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He's cutting grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a more...

Dear Son,
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the Newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, So we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they Moved so that they would not have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure It works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the chain And haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time For three days and the second time for four days.
About the coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it Would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut Them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried Because it took him two more...

Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a more...

Dear Son,
I know you can't read fast, so I'm writing this letter slow.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address cause the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
It's a really nice place and even has a washing machine. I'm not real sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for four days and the second time for three days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you; your Uncle Earl said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off. You'll find them in the pockets.
Billy Bob locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it more...

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him.

The man walks over and tries to wake Mr. Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr. Murphy falls to the floor in a heap.

"Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he looks for his keys. Mr. Murphy slides down to the ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car.

He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr. Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Cursing more...

A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 West 42nd St. By mistake, he went to 255 West 42nd St, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him. She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon.
He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered.

Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his generous member in his hand. "My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot."

"Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take my business elsewhere."

Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.