Administrator Jokes

This doctor is considering specializing in sex disorders. He calls a local clinic and asks if he can get a tour of their facility. The Clinic Administrator tells the doctor that would be fine and to come right on over.
As they're walking through the hospital, the doctor sees this guy jerking off in the middle of the hallway. He asks the Administrator what's going on. The Administrator explains that the guy suffers from Hyper Spermatogenisis, that is, unless he gets off several times a day, his balls will explode!
A few minutes later they turn the corner and see a guy standing in the hallway getting a blow job from this beautiful nurse. The doctor inquires as to this guy's condition. The Administrator explains to the doctor that this man has the same problem as the other guy, but he as a much better health plan!

User: I want some answers.
Administrator: You want answers?
User: I think I'm entitled to them.
Administrator: You want answers?
User: I want the truth!
Administrator: You can't handle the truth!
We live in a world that has Computers, and those Computers have to be
connected by people with a clue.
Who's gonna do it? You?
You users make me sick. I have a greater responsibility than you can
possibly fathom.
You weep for your email and you curse the local administrator.
You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that
this network, while screwed up, and confusing to you, probably saved time.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time.
You don't want the truth, because deep down, in places you don't talk about
at parties, you want us in this office.
You need us in this office.
We use words like DNS, LDAP, and SCRIPTS...we use these words as the
backbone to a more...

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.
"Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life," says the tech.
Next morning, the phone rings. It's a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.
The Administrator's response? "Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!"

One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name to a directory named "i386."

He started to type it and paused, asking me "Where's the key for that line thing?"

I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."

I replied, "You mean the letter' i'?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits."Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life," says the tech.Next morning, the phone rings. It's a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.The Administrator's response? "Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!"