Advise Jokes / Recent Jokes
If architects had to work like programmers...Dear Mr. Architect, Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If more...
A young doctor was attached to a senior to gain practical insight into practice. The fresher told the senior that the seniors were not abreast with the latest trend in medical science. The senior advised the young doctor to be observant on the visits. In the first visit, the patient was a young man. After the preliminary examination, the doctor advised the young man to give up smoking. When they were outside the young doctor questioned on what basis he tendered that advise, the senior replied there were cigarette butts, ashes strewn all over the room.
The second patient was a young lady. The senior after completing preliminaries directed her to stop eating sweets and chocolates. Again when questioned, the senior commented he saw chocolate and sweet wrappers strewn in the room. Upon the third visit, the senior surprised the younger doctor requesting him to examine the patient, a young lady. Through sheer nervousness the young doctor dropped the stethoscope. After the preliminaries more...
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have been operating in New Orleans, Louisiana. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been detained.
The Police Superintendent stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues.
The police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area.
Police are confident that anyone who looks like Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.
The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this warning...
"Warning: In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing, so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognise the difference between black bear and grizzly bear manure: Black bear manure is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear manure has little bells in it and smells like pepper."