Afternoon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A technique perfected by a playboy friend of ours is so unique it deserves a telling.
Quite recently, he had been having difficulty persuading a lovely but stubborn young lady to part with her Victorian moral principles. He tried soft words and soft music; he tried the caveman approach; he tried strong drink. She resisted all these devices. Finally, one Saturday afternoon, he escorted her to an extremely fashionable furrier where he asked to see a collection of their finest mink coats. From these he permitted the girlfriend to choose one costing a cool ten grand.
"I assume you will accept my check," said our friend in a matter-of-fact manner.
The furrier explained that, being Saturday afternoon, the banks were closed and they would be unable to verify his credit until the following Monday. The playboy smiled. "I understand," he said. "Suppose we leave the coat here-I'll drop by Monday and pick it up. Here is my check."
Monday morning more...

A man traveled to Madrid, Spain and went to a restaurant for a late dinner. He ordered the house special and was brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asked.
"Cojones, se

One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging laundry when a tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog's collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out.

The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, the woman finally pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "We have six children. He's trying to catch up on his sleep."

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished they fell asleep and didn't wake up till 8 o'clock.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she does as he asks (thinking him pretty weird).
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door. Upset, she asks where he's been. The man replies "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those are grass stains on your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you!?"

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed: "Come and bury my wife." "But I buried your wife ten years ago," replied the undertaker." I got married again," the man sobbed." Oh," said the undertaker. "Congratulations."

One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor, to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god youlook so depressed. She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me... sixdozen roses. Now you know what that means? I'm going to have tospend this whole weekend on my back with my legs spread. Now that's really silly, why don't you use a vase?

A middle manager is called into his bosses office on a Monday morning. He is told he has to get rid of one employee in his department by thenext Monday. "Downsizing." He's really upset. Everyone in his department does a good job and itdoesn't seem fair. So for the next 2 days he racks his brain trying tofigure out who to fire. On Tuesday afternoon he sees Jack and Jillstanding at the water cooler. He says to himself, "Okay it's going to beone of them." He spends the next few days scrutinizing what each of them does. Everything is equal. Productivity. Time off. Reports. Everything. He'sin a quandary. It's Friday afternoon and he knows his going to have tothink about this all weekend. Everyone has left the office except Jack andJill, who are getting ready to leave. She comes over to say goodbye." Have a good weekend boss. Hey you don't look so good. Is everythingokay?" He looks at her and says "To be honest, I'm having a tough time here. Ican't decide more...