Aide Jokes

At two in the morning, the phone rang at the governor's mansion. An aide found himself talking to a local attorney, who insisted that he must speak to the governor immediately.
Despite pleas to postpone his call until morning, the attorney insisted that the call was over a matter of utmost urgency, and that he could not wait. Eventually, the aide reluctantly decided to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Cassidy just died," announced the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
The Governor shot back, "It's okay with me if it's okay with the undertaker."

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!" The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What s kills to you bring to the Air Force?" The young man says, "I chop more...

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would
personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and
that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and
his staff were standing near an brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair
of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a
Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and
introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked,
"Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked,"What
skills to you more...

When Ariel Sharon came to Washington for meetings with George W. and for a state dinner, Laura Bush decided to bring in a special Kosher chef and offer a truly Jewish meal.
At the dinner that night, the first course served was matzo ball soup.
George W. looked at this and after learning what it was called, he told an aide that he couldn't eat such a gross and strange-looking brew. The
aide told George W. that Mr. Sharon would be insulted if he doesn't, at least, taste it.
Not wanting to cause any trouble (after all, he ate a sheep's eye in honor of Arab guests), George W. gingerly lowered his spoon into the bowl and retrieved a piece of matzo ball and some broth.
He hesitated, then swallowed. A big grin appeared on his face. He
discovered that he really liked it, so he proceeded to dig right in and finish the whole bowl.
"That was delicious!" Bush said to Sharon. "Do you Jews eat any other part of the matzo, or just the balls?"

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.

As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.

He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says, "I`m a pilot!"

The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!"

The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the more...