Aids Jokes / Recent Jokes
A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was getting very ill.
The doctor told the father and son that the father was dying from cancer.
The father, who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said, "Son, even on this gloomy day, it's our tradition to drink to health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate my demise." Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub. There, while enjoying their ale, the father saw some old friends and told them he was dying from AIDS. Shocked, the son turned to his father and said, "Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer. Why did you lie to those men?" The father replied: "Aye, my son, you are right; but I don't want those guys sleeping with your mom when I'm gone."
One guy went to see a doctor because he had a hearing problem, so he met his friend and the conversation began!
First guy: "Did the doctor give you your test results?"
Second guy: "Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up with me.
I have hearing AIDS."
To: All Staff
Cc:
From: Management
RE: Early Retirement
Due to our current financial situation, management has decided to implement a scheme to put all workers over 30 on early retirement. This scheme will be know as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early).
Person selected to be RAPED can apply to the management to be eligible for the SHAFT (Special Help AFTer retirement). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (SCheme for Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been raped can apply to get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SCREWED any further by management.
Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided more...
What's worse than your doctor telling you that you have AIDS?
Your mother telling you.