Airport Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why did the blonde turn around and go back home on her way to the aiport?
A. Because she saw a sign that said, "Airport left"...

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that hed have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. "How come?," his nephew asked."My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained."Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didnt know planes had parents."

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached acomfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"Silence. Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

McAteer arrived at J. F. K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.
An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.
"No," replied McAteer. "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out," said the Irishman.

Christmas trees will be going back up at Seattle's airport in a compromise reached with other religious groups.
The airport will also feature a menorah and, bowing to pressure from Aztecs, there will be an hourly human sacrifice in the Club Class lounge.

This nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down waiting for her flight. When she looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So she thought to herself I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me. So she went over to the machine and she put her nickel in and card came out and it said, Your a nun you weigh 128lbs and your going to Chicago Illinois. So she sat back down and thought about it, she thought to herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, I'm going try it again. So she went over to the machine again and put her nickel in it, a card came out and said, your a nun, you weigh 128lbs., your going to Chicago Ill. and your going to play a fiddle. She said to herself I know that's wrong I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life. She sat back down and this Cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down she picked up the fiddle and just started playing beautiful music. She looked back at the more...

SO ONE DAY THIS BLONDE WENT TO THE AIRPORT IN SHE WENT TO A DESK TO GO A TICKET AND THE WOMAN SAID DO YOU WANT FIRST OR SECOND CLASS AND THE BLOND SAID NO I WANT WING CLASS BECAUSE I WANT FEEL THE WIND GO THROUGH MY HAIR AND WOMAN SAID THAT ONLY THING YOU GO FEEL YOU GOAN FEEL GROUND TO YOU STUIP BLONDE