Alligator Jokes / Recent Jokes
This guy goes into a bar leading a half-sized alligator on a leash. The bartender yells at him, "You can't bring that animal in here!"
The man says, "This isn't just any old alligator, he knows tricks. I'll show you." He lets the alligator climb up on the bar, then says, "This alligator can hold his mouth open for any length of time you say, to the exact second. Name a time."
So, the bartender says "47 seconds." The man says, "OK, when I say go, start your watch. Go!" The alligator opens its mouth wide, while the bartender watches his mouth. The man says, "To prove how much confidence I have in my pet, I'm gonna lay my dick in his mouth. But, just for safety's sake, start counting the seconds from 45 on." The man does so, and when the bartender starts saying "45...46...47..," right when he says 48 the man pulls back his dick and the alligator's mouth snaps shut.
Everyone at the bar was very impressed more...
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a railroad track? Three pieces of alligator.
Why couldnt the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc.
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator
up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll
open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will
close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my
unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me
a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his
trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator
closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer
bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened
his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd
cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again
and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give more...
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A more...
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons."I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."The crowd murmured their approval.The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, more...
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open
his mouth and I will remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell more...